The Political Chase

Bush warbling ‘Green Grass’ at Gridiron

Welcome to the Gridiron!

The Gridiron is the oldest and most prestigious journalistic organization in Washington, D.C. and is famous for its annual dinner, bringing together the government and media elite, and traditionally features the United States Marine Band, followed by skits and remarks from the President of the United States.

Please, make yourself comfortable, imagine you just finished a great big ‘ol steak and tatter prepared by the world-renowned staff at Del Frisco’s of Fort Worth, and some cutie just delivered your favorite after-dinner beverage.

Comfy now? Great!

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Each year, we look forward to the point in this august occasion when we are given the rare privilege and honor, and are truly humbled by, our most celebrated guest of the evening. But before our guest joins me on the stage, he asked that I tell you he decided to not deliver his remarks in the traditional fashion. Tonight, our distinguished guest prefers to sing, “The Green Grass of Home”" Please join me in welcoming the President of the United States,

C-Plus Augustus

Adaptation and Lyrics by Bogus POTUS:

Yes you’re all gonna miss me, The way you used to quiz me, But soon I’ll touch the brown, brown grass of home.

I spent my days clearing brush
I clear my head of all the fuss
But the fuss you made over harriet and brownie
Down the lane I look and here comes Scooter
Finally free of the prosecutor

Chorus

And then I wait and look around me
At the oval walls that surround me
I realize I was only dreaming
For there’s Condi and Dick, my old compadre,
Talking to me about some oil rich Saudi,
But soon I’ll touch the brown brown grass of home.”

Chorus

That old White house is behind me,
I am once again carefree,
Don’t have to worry ’bout a crisis in Pyongyang.
Down the lane I look, Dick Cheney is strolling
With documents he’d been withholding,
It’s good to touch the brown brown grass of home.”